"The Dinosaurs Are SunBathing!"

You would think I would have learned my lesson by now. That lesson is...never turn my back on my toddler! In particular, this morning. I'm in the kitchen making toast along with my tea, Mint Verbena by Harney & Sons, yum. Decided to treat myself to a little bit of butter on my toast, not just any old butter, but Plugra European Style! Now I'm very excited about my breakfast. Headed to the family room...why did I almost dislocate my shoulder trying not to fall and break my neck, not to mention spill my tea & drop my toast due to some kind of slippery substance on the hard wood floors??? Of course, the boy is cracking up, saying, "mommy what are you doing?" At this point, I'm down on one knee horrified at the thought of  how badly this could have ended. What was on the floor you ask? Ummmmm, butter! Yes, my Plugra butter. Apparently the boy came into the kitchen and swiped the butter from the table. I was so busy making my tea until I didn't realize I never put it back in the frig! Please help! I sit what's left of my tea & toast down on the floor and try and figure out what just happened. Mean while, the boy is saying, "are you ok mommy, that was really funny!" I look up and out of the corner of my eye something is glistening. There was a Stegosaurus, a Dilophosaurs, a Triceratops and a T-Rex all covered in butter, ummmmm, Plugra butter. Before I can say anything, the boy says, "mommy the dinosaurs are sunbathing, they're at the beach." I burst into laughter because it's my own fault. How many episodes to I need to experience to learn not to take my eye off of him when he's quite? Needless to say, I spent about a 45 minutes cleaning the floor and those poor dinosaurs. You know it's only 5:30am, right? The boy wakes at 5am. In half an hour, he manages to turn my life upside down. Good old Dad is traveling, probably still asleep, missing all the comedy! So, if you see me with a cocktail by 8am, don't judge me because "you think you know, you have no idea!" Ha!  Oh and do you know how much Plugra Butter cost?      CHAT ME BACK

My Bedroom's Been Booby trapped!

Have you ever got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water and found yourself tangled up in belts along the path. Once you hit the floor, (yes, fall down face first) you land on tooth brushes! What is it with toddlers and their fascination with belts and toothbrushes. We have a secret place for our tooth brushes, but it doesn't last long.We are lucky if a new tooth brush last a week before the Tooth Brush Bandit shows up. The little TB Bandit keeps a stash under the sink in the bathroom, there's at least 20 hostages. He uses them as an obstacle courses for his cars...how many will be enough, is the question I keep asking.Oh and the belts, they're considered snakes. I didn't know we owned that many belts until I was tangled up in them. Now, I keep a pin light handy, on my night table, so I can check the vicinity before I proceed. Talk about a learning curve. Ha!  CHAT ME BACK

New Children's Book - Hot Off the Press!

"TuTu Goes Green" is the latest hit. How perfect it was launched on Earth Day! My dear friend Tulani Thomas, self published her first children's book. We attended her book signing at Words Book Store & Cafe in Maplewood, NJ. What a fantastic location, it reminded me of a quaint little book store in old world Manhattan. Tulani was a remarkable host in appeasing an audience of toddlers and young adults (ha)! The book is about learning to take care of the earth from the beginning in a child's eyes. It's an amazing concept to teach our little people to respect nature and preserve the environment. It was a spectacular turn out and the book sold out. Not to worry, Tulani was prepared and had another stash of books in the waiting. Well done Tulani, see you next week at French Giggle. Get you copy today and mention you saw it first on Child Chatter!   CHAT ME BACK

Mommy Cliques !?!

Is there such a thing as Mommy Cliques? Are you in one? I believe I'm becoming a part of quite a few of them. It's definitely not a mean girl syndrome... you just meet moms in different circles and you may have many things in common or just simply, hit it off. I think it's very healthy and sometimes helps you find your way back to the adult world or you help them find serenity with some adult conversation.  Chat Me Back

The Barter System ... Can I Pay With Dinosaurs?

Toddlers! Never leave your bag/purse unattended. We take a mommy and me trip to Target. Normally a trip to Target turns into a 2 - 3 hour affair but not today. I am focused and only have one small item in my shopping cart along with my toddler of course. Lately he's decided to sit or even lay down in the actual basket verses sitting in the upper seat where children belong. Anyhow, we get to the checkout line. I'm so proud of myself because I've only been in Target for 10 mins, Ha, unheard of. The item rang up $2.19, this has got to be a record, I have never left this store without spending $50. I open my bag and my wallet is not in there nor are many of my other personal items...sunglasses, lip gloss, kleenex. WTH?!? But there are plenty of dinosaurs for some odd reason as I pull them out looking for money to pay the cashier. While my son is smiling as he names each dinosaur, I simply say. "Can I pay with dinosaurs, because that's all I seem to have?!" Everyone in the line behind is now cracking up including the cashier. So I start searching through all of my pockets. Luckily I'm wearing the jeans from last weekend's ice skating birthday party so I managed to find $5 (3 - $1 and $2 in change), kleenex, a fruit snack. Whew, that was close! Ha, now I need to get us home asap considering I have no wallet, meaning no license to drive...(screaming in my head).  Chat Me Back

Pacifier Hell ?!?

Not the pacifier! You want to ride the evil doer from your child's life? Ha, Easter is approaching. Take advantage of the Easter Bunny hopping away with that pacifier while the little monster is sleeping. Not to worry, the little tike will wake up to a delicious piece of chocolate under the pillow. Have the pacifier disappear on Friday night and by Monday you'll have a new toddler without the pacifier. Don't get me wrong, you'll need to take the day off on Monday to sleep while your toddler is in nursery school... you'll be up the whole weekend so be prepared to be sleep deprived. It will all be worth it. You'll have a chatter box on your hands. If your toddler is allergic to chocolate then find some other yummy snack the East Bunny can deliver. After all, the pacifier must leave to do be with it's family, it's mommy and daddy are waiting. Ha, what ever it takes.   Chat Me Back

Take a Deep Breath! "My Child Is Locked Inside the Car and it's on!"

Been there! Done that for the 1st time, like last week! First Reaction... I was horrified! And the story goes: The day was filled with a bit of trickery! Picked him up from Nursery School, normal day so far. Due to all the snow, I climb into the backseat to strap him into the car seat, normally I immediately reach over to lock his door because if you're not quick enough, he will keep right out the other side. Instead I hold his coat tail as I lean over the seat to start the ignition and press the lock button (I'm so smart!). Secured in his car seat and I hop out the backseat door (that I left open) and close the door. Yeah, I'm locked out and the car is turned on with a 2 1/2 year old inside, locked in his seat! Did I mention, my purse with my cell phone and house keys where locked inside the car as well?

"Sacre Bleu!" Yes, I am now holding my head outside the car, OMG! The teachers and parents have now surrounded the car. My son is cracking up because he thinks it's some kind of game.

The good news is my nanny is at my home and the nursery school is only 3 blocks away. (But I don’t remember my nanny’s cell phone number off the top of my head.) So yep, I'm stretching my legs, getting ready to do an Olympic sprint home. Then I think to myself, let me see if I can walk him through this. All I need him to do is pull the latch out. Now I'm peeking into the window, yes with my hands on the side of my face, like I'm peeping through a boutique window trying to view a Hermes bag on the other side of the store without going in. Comedy!

I say, "Honey this is an emergency, and mommy needs your help. Can you to open the door so mommy can get in the car?" I'm using all kinds of hand gestures on the glass and he's mimicking me. This goes on for a few minutes and I thinking I'm really going to have to run home and leave my baby in a running car, that was surrounded by people nevertheless. I continue pointing, then he starts to push the window button. Ha, that would have been perfect if the child lock wasn't on. (I'm thinking, daddy will never know about this one.) One last try. I say, "Honey unlock the door, so mommy can get in!" as I pull on the door handle. He says, (literally) "Oh, unlock the door mommy!?!" I say, "yes, mommy needs to get in." he simply says, "OK!" and pulls the latch! I have never been so happy to kiss that little nose. I told him, he was brilliant. he said, "yes mommy!" Bravo!!!

You know he was probably thinking, why didn't she just say UNLOCK the door instead of talking about an emergency and for me to open the door...hello idiot, I'm in my car seat and the door handle is too low for me to pull and open the door. Ha, the moment I got in the car he says…”I really would like a fruit snack!” He was already on to the next thing and I’m still trying to catch my breath. He has no idea what just happened. What do I do next? I go into my bag and get a fruit snack and give it to him. It’s the least I can do. My little hero saved the day! Chat Me Back